People Pleasing.
There are so many reasons why we people-please. We give people the answers we believe they want. We show them the parts of us that we feel confident they will accept. Yet every time we do it, every day that we live our lives pleasing others instead of being true to ourselves, we take a step back from our authenticity. The irony is that this often creates a layer of detachment and prevents us from having honest, connected relationships because we are not vulnerably sharing our true selves with the people we love…and they feel that.
Chances are, if you’re reading this, that you have taken so many steps back you can’t be sure who your authentic self is , what she looks like or how she really feels.
Don’t worry, she is there. She makes an appearance every so often, when she’s backed into a corner or when something really matters but you have to look closely to see her. With a little work, we can draw her out if you want to, but you have to really want to though, because the work is hard and your resistance will be high.
But how it is worth it! The freedom that comes from knowing who you are, knowing that you love who you are and knowing that while not everyone will, you are SO worth loving!
Signs you are people-pleasing:
You often agree to do things even though you don’t want to
You often find yourself resenting others for their choices
You worry that other people will not like you
You rely on praise and approval from others to feel good about yourself. When people give you feedback (good or bad) you play it over and over in your head
You are quick to apologise or accept blame, even when you are not at fault
You agree with other people even when you are unsure or their views are incongruent with your beliefs